The Quote Garden ™
I dig old books. ™
Welcome to my page of quotations about weather forecasting. We are grateful to the operational meteorologists because they really do help us out a lot, even if sometimes they can be a smidgen off. —ღ Terri
PREDICTION. A bit of funny business invented by the Weather Man for the purpose of playing tiddledewinks with the weather. ~Noah Lott (George V. Hobart), The Silly Syclopedia, 1905
The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it. ~Patrick Young, unverified
It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain. ~Mark Twain, quoted in More Maxims of Mark by Merle Johnson, 1927, per Barbara Schmidt of TwainQuotes.com
WEATHER MAN... from the Latin words Guessa Gain... ~Noah Lott (George V. Hobart), The Silly Syclopedia, 1905
Long-range weather forecast: It’s gonna get real hot, then it’s gonna get real cold, then it’s gonna get real hot again. ~George Carlin
If there's a 50/50 chance that a forecast will go wrong, nine times out of ten it will. ~Author unknown
WEATHER FORECAST: Probably rain; probably not. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague
No one has a sorrier lot than the weatherman. He is ignored when he is right, but execrated when he is wrong. ~Isaac Asimov
I have an idea that's going to increase the accuracy of the Weather Bureau 100%. It's called a window! ~Robert Orben, 2100 Laughs For All Occasions, 1983
On cable TV, they have a weather channel — 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window. ~Dan Spencer
Caulfield: In the past, here's how you'd forecast the weather: pick up your phone; call someone west of you; have them open a window. In the present, you open a window on your phone.
Frazz: In the future, no one goes outdoors.
~Jef Mallett, Frazz, 2018
There is little chance that meteorologists can solve the mysteries of weather until they gain an understanding of the mutual attraction of rain and weekends. ~Arnot Sheppard, unverified
Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day! ~Hector D. Cantú and Carlos Castellanos, Baldo, 2010
All you need to forecast the weather is a stone on a string —
• Stone wet: Rain
• Stone dry: Not raining
• Shadow on ground: Sunny
• White on stone: Snow
• Can't see stone: Foggy
• Swinging stone: Windy
• Jumpy stone: Earthquake
• Stone gone: Tornado
Tonight’s forecast: dark. Continued mostly dark tonight, turning to widely scattered light in the morning. ~George Carlin
Today, there will be sunlight all day, gradually darkening toward evening, then look for complete darkness overnight, ending by morning. ~Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich, Real Life Adventures, 2019
Teacher: Johnny, you only got half the answers right on your test!
Johnny: No problem, Teech!
Teacher: How can you say that?
Johnny: I'm going to be a meteorologist.
~Johnny Hart, B.C.
Seriously? They're letting a gopher give a six-week extended weather forecast?! What's next? A cat flying the traffic 'copter?!! ~Glenn McCoy and Gary McCoy, The Duplex, 2015
I'll tell you what kind of a Weather Bureau we have. Remember when Noah got on the ark? Well, they predicted "Slightly cloudy." ~Robert Orben, 2100 Laughs For All Occasions, 1983
…And looking at the extended Forecast. We see the swarms of Locusts moving out by the weekend just in time for another wave of burning hail. ~Glenn McCoy and Gary McCoy, "Ancient Egyptian Weatherman," 2011
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann, unverified
Last saved 2022 Feb 08 Tue 11:27 PST